The reason I say this is because I feel like my mental health does best when I am being productive or have a rhyme or theme to a day. I feel like I can’t just aimlessly exist, or maybe I need to learn how to be calmer on the inside to sit still? I do not think it is that I want to constantly be doing something, I just like having a purpose. Maybe it's more about the purpose. I also think if I just sit around the whole day watching TV that it brings me down mentally. I like binge-watching shows as much as the next gal, but I feel like there needs to be a healthy balance.
I did meet with my advisor and therapist both yesterday. They both gave me some good advice on how to manage my days better and if anything if I am too bored, my advisor will send me some work to do. They also suggested books for me to read, so I am going to try to at least get one of them to read. I want to read the book for fun and one for academic stuff. So stay tuned on that. I also finally submitted the proofread version!
Also, pan out one day to go over my Ph.D. plan and also my dissertation route, like did something this semester change interest course, or has it remained the same.
I did message Issac all the things and I just think it's hilarious the lack of accountability and also the victim mindset. I however realize I am not in the same mental space anymore, I know I bring him a fair amount, but it's not the same as it used to be and I have this lack of care towards him and the outcomes of his actions. Which I did not think I would ever reach. Like I truly see him for who he is, and I am not in any disillusionment about his goodness or his character. Like he has work to do on himself, like a lot, but I realize I do not have to help him through, I can just exist. This is not my job and that is very freeing and now my any interaction with him does not hold the same weight, because I am not bound over how he interacts with me.
WE FINALLY GOT A TREE! I will try to add a picture when we are done decorating it. Hopefully, tonight so will share it tomorrow. I am excited. My roommate and I are doing this whole thing with hot cocoa and she wants to me orange garlands!
